The Granola Bar Incident

For me, there is that time in a pregnancy when it really hits me that I am HUGE. That I am big and getting bigger and there is nothing I can do about it. That your body really has been taken over, and it is not your own anymore. It is a moment, something that happens when it really sinks in.

When I was pregnant with Charlotte it was a moment when Judd made me laugh so hard while we were putting up the Christmas tree and my poor muscles were stretched so hard that they just couldn't hold and I peed my pants. It was embarrassing and awful. It was then that I started to cry and wanted it all to be over.

Last night was my moment with this baby. No, I didn't pee my pants. Our beautiful, wonderful friend, Erin, volunteered to come over after Charlotte went to bed so Judd and I could go out to dinner. Since we had a Scoutmob, we decided to go to ONE. Midtown Kitchen. It is a pretty trendy restaurant. I usually feel like a total dork going there - I just don't feel like I'm trendy enough. It didn't help that we pull up to valet the car with the SIRIUS bluegrass channel blasting.

So, we go in and have a very nice dinner - really good food. We talked about the baby, what his name will be or not be, what has been happening with Judd's job, and Charlotte's imaginary friends. A lovely evening. I tell Judd that I'm going to the bathroom before dessert comes, and get up from the table.

Then I hear, "Carrie." I turn around and Judd waves me back to the table. "You have a granola bar wrapper stuck to your butt". Nice. The big fat pregnant chick, in a nice, trendy restaraunt, has a granola bar wrapper stuck to her ever expanding rear end. It's not just any granola bar wrapper, it is a bright, shiny purple one - one that reflects light from all directions. I know where it became a part of my hiney, too - the front seat of Judd's car - meaning that I had it had been stuck there the whole walk through the restaurant to be seated. So, as any wife would do, I immediately blamed him for this humiliation. Why couldn't he just throw his granola bar wrappers away? and not just put them in his front seat?

It was then that I had my moment of pregnancy self pity. I immediately felt huge - and I know the end is near, but not near enough. My clothes barely fit, my feet get swollen, and my daughter can't even fit on my lap.

This morning, I am recovered. I actually got a decent night's sleep and feel much better about myself. Sure, I'm huge, but I know what will be the result of this - and it will all be worth it.