Friday, September 10

The Granola Bar Incident

For me, there is that time in a pregnancy when it really hits me that I am HUGE. That I am big and getting bigger and there is nothing I can do about it. That your body really has been taken over, and it is not your own anymore. It is a moment, something that happens when it really sinks in.

When I was pregnant with Charlotte it was a moment when Judd made me laugh so hard while we were putting up the Christmas tree and my poor muscles were stretched so hard that they just couldn't hold and I peed my pants. It was embarrassing and awful. It was then that I started to cry and wanted it all to be over.

Last night was my moment with this baby. No, I didn't pee my pants. Our beautiful, wonderful friend, Erin, volunteered to come over after Charlotte went to bed so Judd and I could go out to dinner. Since we had a Scoutmob, we decided to go to ONE. Midtown Kitchen. It is a pretty trendy restaurant. I usually feel like a total dork going there - I just don't feel like I'm trendy enough. It didn't help that we pull up to valet the car with the SIRIUS bluegrass channel blasting.

So, we go in and have a very nice dinner - really good food. We talked about the baby, what his name will be or not be, what has been happening with Judd's job, and Charlotte's imaginary friends. A lovely evening. I tell Judd that I'm going to the bathroom before dessert comes, and get up from the table.

Then I hear, "Carrie." I turn around and Judd waves me back to the table. "You have a granola bar wrapper stuck to your butt". Nice. The big fat pregnant chick, in a nice, trendy restaraunt, has a granola bar wrapper stuck to her ever expanding rear end. It's not just any granola bar wrapper, it is a bright, shiny purple one - one that reflects light from all directions. I know where it became a part of my hiney, too - the front seat of Judd's car - meaning that I had it had been stuck there the whole walk through the restaurant to be seated. So, as any wife would do, I immediately blamed him for this humiliation. Why couldn't he just throw his granola bar wrappers away? and not just put them in his front seat?

It was then that I had my moment of pregnancy self pity. I immediately felt huge - and I know the end is near, but not near enough. My clothes barely fit, my feet get swollen, and my daughter can't even fit on my lap.

This morning, I am recovered. I actually got a decent night's sleep and feel much better about myself. Sure, I'm huge, but I know what will be the result of this - and it will all be worth it.


Luis Benitez said...

LOL -- especially the part about blaming him !! You are almost there.. can't wait to meet him 'virtually'.

Unknown said...

Awww poor Carrie! You should've just played it off as the latest fashion statement...soon every pregnant woman would be walking around with a granola bar wrapper stuck to their butt! I can't wait to meet my new nephew.

Drena said...

What a great story! Just be thankful you have wonderful stories like these to make your children feel forever guilty for what they did to you to get them here!

Didn't know about the Xmas tree incident. Now that's funny!

Lamar Watson said...

This story made me laugh so hard in my cubicle. I know you must've been mortified. I'm pretty sure no one even noticed it but I can imagine the things you thought people were saying. This story made my day and I'm glad you've recovered from it....I'm sure Judd is glad you've recovered. God bless you and your growing family.

The Johnsons said...

So hilarious - I sent along to a friend at work who is also due at the end of October. I was just dying laughing!

Rebecca said...

Awwww...poor Carrie. This really made me laugh. I bet from now on Judd will never throw granola bar wrappers on his front seat ever again!