Thursday, April 16

That Hurt

I picked up Charlotte from daycare on Tuesday afternoon. I went to the door, she came to the door so I could pick her up. She wiggled and squirmed until I put her down in the hallway. (She likes to walk out of daycare herself now, no more of this carrying stuff - she's too big for that. ) After I got her daily report from Teacher 1, Charlotte and I walked down the hall towards the office. I needed to ask them a billing question.

As we were walking, Charlotte's other teacher, Teacher 2, was coming down the hall. Charlotte let go of my hand and tore off in her direction. When she reached her she threw herself at Teacher 2. Teacher 2 picked her up and Charlotte gave her a huge hug with a big smile on her face.

I thought, Well that's wonderful, she really does love her teachers. But, then I went to take her from Teacher 2 and she wouldn't come to me! She was clinging to Teacher 2 and whined when I finally was able to pry her away.

The ladies in the office saw this happen. When I stepped into the office they said, "How does that make you feel, upset?" I said, "No, I'm so happy that Charlotte loves her teachers." And I am very happy that Charlotte loves her teachers - of course I'm thrilled about that. But what I really wanted to do when they asked me that question was release the tears that were welling up and say, "Yes that makes me upset - it breaks my heart in two - as if this wasn't hard enough, now she loves Teacher 2 more than me!"

There's no doubt that Charlotte loves me - she has even started hugging and kissing - it is very cute. It is irrational to think that she loves Teacher 2 more than me, but I think it is natural to feel that when this type of situation occurs. I'm pretty sure it won't ever get easier to take - whether it is Teacher 2, a future nanny, a future friend or boyfriend. I'll just keep loving Charlotte with all of my heart and be the best mommy I can be, and hope that she continues to feel that.


Allison D said...

No one can take the place of her mommy. I was just reading about the bond that women have with their got pregnant with her, grew her for 9 months, gave birth to her, fed her from your breast, and huge her every day. You have the most recongizable voice of anyone in the world to her. She will always feel and know that. What an amazing gift. She loves you so much!

Erin H. said...

That's sad for any mom. I'm glad you know that she loves you. I'm sorry though! And, I can't wait to get a hug and kiss from Charlotte :) Too cute!

Rebecca said...

I feel for you! Liam did the same thing to me the other day. I got there to pick him up and he threw himself on the floor (as he has started doing now), and when his teacher went to pick him up, he wouldn't let go. He clung to her and I didn't think I was going to be able to pry him away without a major meltdown. But, you are right - there is no replacement for Mommy, and Charlotte knows that.

Drena said...

I'm sorry that happened, but at least maybe it will help you with your working mom guilt. You know she being taken care of there and is very happy. :) (trying to look on the bright side and if you were looking just to vent then pls ignore. Adam always does this to me and sometimes I tell him I just wanted to bitch/whine/complain and him listen w/o making a suggestion)

m said...

Owen did it at lunch with another mom from his class (not even a teacher!). They just know that you will always be there for them so they take advantage of other attention when they can get it.

Lora Lee & Lora Kate's Blog said...

Lora Kate has done this before and I know how you feel. I tell myself though that no one loves them like their Mommies do and I think deep down they know that. Who else could be a better Mommy to her than you!? No One!